well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he fucked my hip out of place.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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