You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
