im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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