I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
