I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
