I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
