I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
