Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just threw up on my dentist
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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