38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
