I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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