i think my tv is drunk
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
