Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
