i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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