its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
