Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
