Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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