No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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