i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
