your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
