Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize