i think my tv is drunk
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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