butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
