Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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