I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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