you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
