I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
