I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
