i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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