Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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