you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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