i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
