Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i already hear my dad disowning me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
