Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
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