There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
