bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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