i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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