i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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