Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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