I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
