Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
