why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I believe in your delicious
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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