I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
