A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So vagazzling was a success
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
