woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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