I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she peed on how many people?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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