I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
