Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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