You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
