Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we're making bets on your personal life
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
