Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This is not my ceiling
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
