You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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