Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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