it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
