Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
