i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
