at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
