Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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