It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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