I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
